You cannot expect. The act of expecting in and of itself is rooted in fear. When you expect, it is because you feel you are owed. And when you feel you are owed, it is because you did not freely give. Give of yourself without any expectation of getting something in return. For when you do, you will start to fear and believe that love is conditional, when it is not.
You will start to fear that your intentions were not appreciated and received in the manner YOU expected it to. The good deed is no longer good, but a deed turned to self indulgence. A deed appropriated by the ego. Do good, always give and do not expect.
Altruism is selflessness. It’s about caring for the welfare of others disregarding one’s own self interest shirking all ideation typically fueled by the ego. Truly giving of yourself should never be attached to any outcome. Why then do we allow ourselves to get caught up in scarcity thinking? Expectation. When we expect something in return, whether its a feeling, an act of service, appreciation, gratitude or reciprocation after we do something for someone, its no longer altruistic. We must learn to take our “SELVES” out of this giving equation. Of course this is much easier said than done, especially when it comes to matters of the heart in relation to another.
Disappointments and heartache arise with unmet expectations. Fears permeate your being when you start to believe that you aren’t worthy because of it. But to simply tell someone “don’t expect” is like telling a child not to play with their favorite toy. It’s going to happen. I think the key here is to truly learn how to love without fear. To release all expectations and come from a place of pure love, with no expectation. Again, much more easier said than done….
“….Rather than thinking how to get love, start giving. If you give, you get. There is no other way. People are more interested in how to grab and get. Everybody is interested in getting and nobody seems to enjoy giving. People give very reluctantly—if ever they give, they give only to get, and they are almost businesslike. It is a bargain. They always go on watching to make sure they get more than they give—then it is a good bargain, good business. And the other is doing the same. Love is not a business, so stop being businesslike. Otherwise you will miss your life and love and all that is beautiful in it—because all that is beautiful is not at all businesslike.”
It takes PRACTICE and a deep spiritual one at that to truly understand this concept of non expectation and non attachment, let alone LIVE it. BUT, I am constantly increasing my awareness and doing my best in cultivating more of it in my life. In the moments when this happens for me, it truly is absolute BLISS. It feels as if my heart, soul and mind are so expansive that I physically feel vibrations tingling all over my body. I become love. I give love. I AM love.
How can you live to give?
“My beingness fuels my doingness” -Oprah
Every last Sunday of the month, Hashtaglunchbag meets up to pack lunches with sandwiches and handwritten love notes to give out to the homeless of skid row, in Downtown LA. This started around 5 years ago, when my friends gathered in small groups of 5 which today has grown to over 100 volunteers in over 100 cities globally, including the chapter I co-started in the Philippines with CORAcares. From a ripple to a wave, living through giving is a way of life. For something like this, spreading the word through social media has become the primary source of creating awareness and inspiring engagement. Check out the links above to see how you can join us in our doingness!